Soulmate Skills

“Come on full blast, girl.  You will never overwhelm me with wanting to be with me.  For I want to be with you as much as you want to be with me.”  Jim wrote that to me in March, 1989, just one month after we met.  We want to encourage you with these words.  Many of you may have been with a partner who didn’t want as much closeness as you do.  Who said, “Back off” rather than “Bring it on.”  That’s a clear sign that you’re with someone who is a voltage mismatch for you.  If you want high-voltage connection; that is, a lot of emotional closeness and sharing the full power of your inner selves, here’s the test:  If you indicate that you want a lot of closeness, they’ll respond like Jim did:  “My heart’s desire is the same as yours.  I want to be together as much as possible.”  They might even add, as Jim did, “I welcome being overwhelmed by your sweet presence.”

So, if you follow our advice to not play hard-to-get; instead to be welcoming and connecting right from the start, won’t you run the risk of looking easy?  The short answer is Yes.  But here’s how:  You are easy.  Easy to connect with.  Easy to have a high-voltage involvement with.  Remember, you are the judge.  It’s your Executive Self that is checking out whether this person wants high-voltage connection just like you.  If they are judgmental or contemptuous of your offer to connect, they’re not the one for you.  It’s a mismatch.  You are powerful.  You decide whether to pursue a relationship with this person.  Do they pass your test of welcoming you tenderly and lovingly?

In order to gain the wisdom your history has to teach you, you’re going to need some concepts.  The first one we want to give you is voltage.  It means the level of closeness you want in a relationship.  If you long for a lot of emotional connection; talking through your feelings about the relationship, then you want high-voltage.  If you’d rather a relationship that stays on a surface level–like roommates, then you prefer low-voltage.  It’s the high-voltage relationship that is a soulmate relationship.  And it’s important that you find someone who wants the same level of voltage that you do.  When you think back on your history, you’ll find that some, or maybe most, of the failed relationships were because of a voltage mismatch.  We’d like to hear from you on this.