The Surges of Love Skill
Surges of Love
This skill has two elements: Feeling and Expressing.
A Surge of Love is that wonderful, warm feeling we get when we think about our partner. Or are close to them. Or share a wonderful moment. Or see their essential goodness. Or behold their particular qualities that we value so much. You know that thought that crosses your mind, “God, I love him so much!” Or, “Damn, I’m lucky to have her.”
Now, as wonderful as a surge feels, the one thing you can do to intensify the pleasure of it, is to express those feelings to your partner. Say those thoughts out loud. Write it in a note. Leave it on their voice mail. We’ve done it with each other from the beginning of our relationship. You’ll hear it in our love letters. And we’ve continued to report surges out loud to each other. Sometimes we just say, “Surge!” And we know what that means. One of us just had a gush of warm feelings for the other.
Reporting surges of love like this is guaranteed to produce warmth and love and closeness.
