Soulmate Skills

Cathexis

Cathexis means holding someone in your heart.  You cathect someone when you think, “Oh, they’d love this restaurant.”  Or when you hear a song and think, “I have to tell them about this song.”  Any time you think of your partner when you’re not with them, that’s holding them in your heart–that’s cathexis.  It’s both a sign of how much you value your partner and a skill for keeping you close.  But just thinking about them isn’t enough to produce closeness in your relationship.  It’s also important to share the content of what you thought the next time you talk to or see them.  It will guarantee closeness.  You can’t do too much of this.