Skills
Whether you’ve found the love of your life (you knew from the moment you met this was the one you had long awaited)–or whether you’re matched up with someone who may not be ideal but your need and longing brought you together, our message to you is this: You can craft your soulmate relationship. It’s not a matter of luck or providence–it’s a matter of skill!
And we’ve developed the dozens of skills you can use to create closeness in your relationship. Some of the skills are communication skills for couples to use in order to improve your interactions. Other skills will be internal skills you’ll need to get in shape to have closeness.
_____________________________________________________________________
It’s the simplest skill we use. And we’ve taught it to thousands of couples. It goes like this: Your partner tells you a feeling he or she is having. All you have to say is, “Can you tell me more about that?” It’s that simple. All it takes is a genuine interest in your partner. Here’s how J…Read More
_____________________________________________________________________
The Beholding Skill
This skill, beholding, has to do with how we look at each other. And the way we do so has everything to do with how much closeness we create with each other. Before we define beholding, let us explain the three ways in which we can look at another: 1) Glancing–This is what…Read More
_____________________________________________________________________
The Melting Skill
Talking about the previous skill, beholding, led us to bring up the next skill of Melting. Melting is both a skill and an attitude. It has to do with letting down our guard; our pride; our looking cool. And then letting the love we’re feeling flow. Because when we let in to our min…Read More
_____________________________________________________________________
This skill has two elements: Feeling and Expressing. A Surge of Love is that wonderful, warm feeling we get when we think about our partner. Or are close to them. Or share a wonderful moment. Or see their essential goodness. Or behold their par…Read More
_____________________________________________________________________
Cathexis means holding someone in your heart. You cathect someone when you think, “Oh, they’d love this restaurant.” Or when you hear a song and think, “I have to tell them about this song.” Any time you think of your partner ...Read More
_____________________________________________________________________
Giving and Receiving Feedback One of the greatest gifts of a high-voltage soulmate relationship is the gift of growth. How does that occur? Quite deliberately, through the skill of feedback. To get started, we recommend you offe...Read More
_____________________________________________________________________
