Love Letter 007
February 9, 1989 From Kathy to Jim
Thursday, 9:55 a.m.
Dear Jim,
I have never connected with anyone like this before. I’ve never had a written correspondence at this depth. This is a gift to me, you know. Because I am learning (getting to practice, experience) *giving voice* (written and spoken) to my intellect and to my heart. And you receive and honor it so dearly. thank you for your correcting me about *talking*. I honor your need for words; for naming, for voicing,. What you said confirms the book I am reading, Women’s Ways of Knowing. The authors make the point that women have been silenced, have not had a voice, and have not been listened to when they have tried to express themselves. Yet women are learning to have voice; to work through ideas; to risk expression. I think this must be my lesson and my encouragement and my affirmation for the week. I accept this loving lesson from the book and from you. I will learn not to fear words; not to fear my own thoughts; my own voice. And I will be practicing that learning with you. I know you lovingly receive it. And honor it enough to affirm and to reason with me.
You could not have quoted a more perfect portion of Knowing Woman. It perfectly describes my current position (“her awareness is so diffuse she can seldom even speak of it”). I know what I know inside, but to put it in words is my challenge. To articulate the gift and the knowledge I have to give. My need is described exactly (“She passionately needs the animus’s voice to light up for her the things she innately knows”). You shone your torch on me and my work when you said, “Did you know you have a work of genius?” And at that point recognition and affirmation dawned. Yes, I *do* know. Deep thank you, Jim for that. And it describes what you are doing for me, and I trust will continue to do. (“Through man, woman finds the animus who can *express* the soul she has never lost. Her *burning need* is to *trust* her own diffuse awareness (this truth makes tears come to my eyes), to *know what she knows and to learn to speak of it*, for until she does, she does not wholly know it.” Exactly my journey. How did you find the most applicable statement to my journey out of that whole book? That’s incredible. You are my soul mate to do that. I’d like to cry on your chest right now. (I have a precious image of you holding me at the airport with my head buried on your chest/shoulder, and that’s what I’d like again right now. I know you would gladly give it. So I think I’ll appropriate that experience right now…I just sat back and let myself feel that until a deep releasing breath came from me.)
Which brings me to the kything article. I love “to show yourself without any disguise or mask”as you would to your kith and kin. We are doing that with each other. Also “to present your soul to another.” I know we are doing that. I think that these will grow. I think we’ve had some bit of caution about “without any disguise or mask.” We haven’t shown all the glory nor all the pock marks we each have. Yet that’s appropriate. It will unfold. I know I want it to. What a precious Indian love charm: “Let her put her soul into the very center of my soul, never to turn away.” “Your soul has come into the very center of my soul, never to turn away.” Ah. So true.
[I begin to talk about] the mutual introjection we’ve done. We’ve done it on the lubricating/strength issues. But you certainly have other qualities I’d like to introject. For example, your easy laugh. I can see you doing it at the colloquium and over the phone when I said I had spoken to my class on models for rehabilitation, and they said it was so spiritual. And your ability to disarm the inner critic. [re: an article we were reading] “The truth about who we are is usually far more than we would ever imagine.” I want us to reveal that truth to each other and to give that to the world. I also agre with “divine indwelling as the *very presence of God within us.* Yes. Yes. Yes. “Courage”–the ability to carry on despite discouragement. Yes, to stand with the negatives bombarding us. My dad modeled that for me in his dying. A very courageous facing of death. You model that courage for me too. So, I’ll also be introjecting that. Thank you for the article. I got some good ideas out of it. And tell me your thoughts in response to what I’ve said.
Now I have a request to make of you–pray for me. My sense is that it will be something like holding me consciously in yours and God’s heart, sending loving, supportive, empowering vibes my way. And I have a specific time. I’ll be doing a workshop starting Thursday, Feb. 16 from 5:30 to 7:30 CST. It’s called “Vocational Choice Making: An Inner Journey” and will incorporate and risk offering my ideas on inner work for vocational choices. So if you woould support me in prayer, I would feel very strengthened and loved. Thank you.
I love visiting with you like this. And I miss you too.
My love to you,
Kathy
