Jim & Kathryn’s Soulmate Thought for the Day–Silence: It’s Not Golden
“Silence is golden”–It’s one of those sayings you have to critique. What’s wrong with it? It’s a way that partners act out their emotional pain. It’s often a way of evading making a response that would feel humiliating. It’s a way of ignoring your partner. At some level, it’s meant to hurt. This all adds up to that it’s disrespectful. And it’s uncaring. So, beware of silence. It will kill closeness. Instead, report the pull to be silent. Say, “I have a pull to be silent, but I’m not going to go there.” Instead, talk about your pain. For example, “I’m feeling hurt. I have a request. There’s something I want from you.” In other words, keep talking to each other, but from your vulnerability. It will maintain closeness. It will keep your love alive. And it will feel a lot better.
Tags: closeness, communication skills, keeping love alive, vulnerability talk
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Being able to share when I feel vulnerabile has been scary. When I’ve done it , Ifeel closer to the other person and better about myself. So I’m going to keep on sharing. I want closeness over distance.
Linnette, you’ve chosen the values we’ve found to lead to happiness and fulfillment.
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Straight to the point and well written, thanks for the post
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